


Deathbeds

by Karnij



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Coma, Heavy Angst, Kinda, M/M, Plot Spoilers, Suicide, just a lot of feels, might as well put it there
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-05
Updated: 2017-12-05
Packaged: 2019-02-10 21:44:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12920865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Karnij/pseuds/Karnij
Summary: Akira is in a coma, and Akechi can't fucking deal. No really, he's a mess.





	Deathbeds

**Author's Note:**

> This was kinda a oneshot prompt trade between @theamericanbxtch and I in our discord group haha We both love our angst, and Akechi's suffering, so I was happy to comply with this request LOL Anyways, I hope you enjoy the feels this may bring~ Enjoy lovelies!

What was going through your head then?

What were you feeling?

Were you nervous?

Were you scared?

Were you happy?

What were the last things you saw, felt, and heard?

 

What was going through your head…when you died for me?

 

Silence. Emptiness. The room never shifted or stirred, the stillness resembling that of lifelessness. A brown haired boy sat at the edge of a pure white bed. His back was hunched, and his head hung low, as he rested his cheek against the sheets. It had been days since he last moved from his spot, complete and total numbness riveting his body. He’d been there every day for weeks. The nurses began to wonder if he suffered the same fate as the patient, but his weak replies and protests proved otherwise.

“You have to take care of yourself.”

“You have to move on.”

“You can’t do this forever.”

“This isn’t what he would want.”

What exactly did he want? How could any of them possibly know what he wanted? They didn’t know the deadly or fatal situations they faced every day. They didn’t know about the power controlling their lives, leeching off their very souls. They didn’t know a damn thing about any of them. Robotic apologies and false senses of justice making their words feel like venom to a wound that was still bleeding.

Akechi lifted his head slightly, gazing at the comatose occupant of the bed. His black hair was unruly, and his body became scraggier by the day. Various clear tubes stuck out of his arms, as a mask provided support for breathing. The heart monitor attached to his arm was the loudest thing in the room, but at this point Akechi had unintentionally blocked it out, or rather, the sound gave him comfort, like listening to the signs that he, Akira, might still be able to regain consciousness.

Beep.

Beep.

Perhaps it was a false sense of hope.

Akira, why?

Akechi repeatedly asked himself the same question over and over like a broken record. Despite how gifted he was, he couldn’t figure out human emotions as easily as textbook information, something entirely new to him. While being with Akira, his heart beat in ways it never did before. He felt anxious, nervous, surprised...

Happy.

The numbness recoiled inside of Akechi, gradually being exchanged by a hard lump in his throat and boulder on his chest as he choked down tears. He clutched his chest, hoping the sudden pain would go away, but it felt like something was shattering him from the inside. Any type of physical pain was more tolerable than this torture. A choked sob escaped his lips, the tears flowing freely now.

“I just…” he gagged, “I just want…to hear your voice again…I want…”

I want you to be happy. To make you happy.

I want to see you smile.

I want to hold you.

I want you to love me.

I want…you to be alive.

Akechi’s head fell heavily back into the bed’s side, as he gripped onto the sheets in a meek attempt to channel his emotions. His mind raced back to the last time him and Akira had spoken to each other. He always did this. He always replayed the same scene over and over. Faulting himself for how things turned out, knowing he could of done more, knowing that, if they weren’t there, things wouldn’t be how they were now. Knowing that if he just read the signs earlier instead of being such a fucking idiot, he could of stopped him.

Or could he…?

They were alone in the Metaverse, Akira specifically requesting that the two meet covertly to discuss prior events. They knew that, by the end of the year, one of them would need to die. That’s just how the rules to the game were written. There couldn’t be two wild cards, but who would of guessed that the light and darkness of good and evil would grow to trust one another, let alone bloom feelings?

Beep.

Beep.

Akira twirled one of the knives he used in his hand, happy about the shadow they just took down. Akechi stood off to the side, silent and uneasy at how quiet both of them were, well rather, at how incompliant he was to any kind of easy conversation Akira tried to make. It was uncomfortable for them both, but it needed to be discussed, and Akechi wanted to avoid it until the last possibly moment. Akira tried to make light of it, but Akechi wasn’t having such an easy time bearing the weight of the information.

Akira smirked to himself, sheathing his knife.

“Do you know what I thought when I first saw you?” he asked, shooting a look at the red masked thief.

Akechi looked up, tilting his head slightly, “…No. No I don’t.” he said interested and crossing his arms.

“I thought, wow, what a confident dick.”

Akechi sighed, closing his eyes, “How is that supposed to make me feel better, exactly?”

“It’s not,” Akira grinned, “But it got you to make a different face then the one you’ve been making.”

Akechi sighed again, keeping his eyes closed. Mellowing out his thoughts, he slowly opened them, making eye contact with Akira.

“I…I don’t know how you’re taking this so lightly…”

Akira looked down, his face muted, “Truth is…I’m not.” He said, “I don’t know what to feel. My mind is a mess and I can’t make sense of what’s going on besides this—us, was never supposed to happen. This game that we’re in is a rigged outcome…there’s no way to get a different end.”

Akechi gripped onto his arms tighter, turning away. He wanted to say something, but he couldn’t think of the right words. Hell,what could he say? He didn’t want to die, and he was sure Akira didn’t want to either. How do you possibly decide a fate like this? Either you die, leaving your love to suffer, or they die, leaving you alone in the world to carry the weight of that loss.  
Akechi couldn’t keep calm, his nerves causing him to shake slightly. He never used to be like this, like such a push over, but the thought of losing Akira was…it was…

“Akechi.”

Beep.

Beep.

Clasping onto Akechi’s hand, Akira drew him forward. He laced their fingers together, squeezing the others hand hard. Taking Akechi’s other arm in his, he stared for a long moment at the brunette, his own thoughts a mixed bag of sentiments.

“You’re strong Akechi, you’ve been through hell and back and are still here, standing,” Akira said, his voice never wavering, “I don’t envy your experiences, but I do envy your resolve to stay resilient. Honestly, I don’t know if I would be the same as you.”

“Akira…” Akechi hesitated, taking in what was being said, “Why…why are you saying this?”

Akira glanced to the side briefly, but fleetingly came back with a smile on his face.

“Because, Akechi, I love you…I love you and I want you to know that.”

Beep.

Beep.

Akechi took in a quivering breath. He didn’t like what Akira was saying at all, the ambiance worrying him and making his heart race faster than he could comprehend. He didn’t know where Akira got this notion that he was strong, because all he wanted to do was run away. Run away from all the bullshit that was falling apart around them. Most of all, he wanted Akira to run away with him. Forget if the world fell apart around them, at least they’d be together till the end.

Akira lugged Akechi closer to him, using his other hand to gently lift the mask off the brunette’s face. Without hesitation, he planted his lips on the others, parting his lips ever so slightly and running his bottom lip along the others. Akechi sucked in a breath, not surprised by the kiss, as he fully indulged in the soft skin against his. He loved the way he tasted; the taste of his breath mixing with his own was a new type of high he didn’t know about until recently.

Things swiftly became more heated, as Akira forcefully pushed Akechi against one of the walls, sliding his tongue into his mouth. Akechi gripped onto Akria’s arm, panting into the hot kiss. A slight moan escaped his lips as Akira pressed his crotch against his own. God, he loved him. He loved him so much. He couldn’t explain everything that made Akira so amazing in his eyes, never getting enough of his presence. Everything was too vague an answer, but that’s exactly what it was.

Everything.

Feeling along the curves of each other, Akechi clung to the other, not wanting to let go of this feeling, but most of all, not wanting to let go of him.

Beep.

Beep.

Akria broke the fiery trice with a breathless gasp. He touched foreheads with Akechi, who was also gasping, their eyelashes close enough to touch. Akira’s usually cocky smirk covered his face.

“Akira…” Akechi exhaled, “Don’t leave me. Don’t you dare.”

“….” Akira smiled softly, considering the request, “…As long as you promise to keep smiling.”

Akechi’s face flushed with embarrassment, to which Akira laughed. His hearty laughter lightened the feeling in Akechi’s gut, as he too smiled and broke out into a laugh. He never got this feeling with anyone else, only with Akira. This feeling of being real, of being true to himself and not having to wear a constant mask. Akira accepted him, faults and all, just the way he was, and he loved that. He loved that so much.

He loved him so much.

Please don’t leave me.

Akechi was so infatuated with the person in front of him, he failed to notice the ringing of chains in the background—and although he wasn’t aware, Akira fully was.

Still smiling, Akira looked at the other with hopeful eyes.

“There, that’s the face I like to see.” He said, kissing Akechi once more.

Beep.

Beep.

The ringing of chains was louder now, Akechi couldn’t ignore the haunting echo that chimed like clock work. Suddenly his heart raced wildly once more.

“Akira--”

Beep.

“Akira we should go.”

Akira shook his head, “It’s a little too late for that.” He pulled away from Akechi, putting a hand over his face, “You might hate me for this, but…I can’t…I can’t let you die. I couldn’t bare that…”

“And I can’t let you either!” Akechi shook his head in objection, “Akira, there has to be another way! There’s still—“

Beep.

“Afraid not.” Akira sneered.

Behind him was the thing all the Phantom Thieves feared more than any other shadow--the physical manifestation of death itself.

Beep.

“Akira!”

Beep.

“You’re strong.”

Beep.

“Run!”

Beep.

“Hey…”

Beep.

“I just realized…”

Beep.

“You’re…”

Beep.

“I love you.”

========flatline======== 

A new sound sculpture the room, one that was high pitched and mimicked that of screaming. Akechi’s head shot up, hazing out of the memory. His eyes darted around, trying to find the source of the sound. Eventually his eyes found the source.

“No….” He mumbled.

His eyes zoomed in on the heart monitor then shot to Akira who had stopped breathing. In a panic, Akechi stood up, the chair toppling out from under him. He gripped onto Akira and shook him in a mad frenzy. He knew full well that wouldn’t do him any good, but his mind was so clouded and his emotions were running rampant. They only thing keeping him even mildly sane was the thought of him coming back into his life.

Into his arms.

Into existence.

“Akira! Akira!” He yelled, still shaking his lifeless body, “No! No. No. No. No. This isn’t happening.”

Nurses and doctors rushed through the door accompanied by a cart full of materials for god knows what. One of them gently tried insisting Akechi back away from the body, but he shoved them off, refusing to leave Akira’s side. He was the only one who ever paid attention to his modest existence. The only one to accept him for his faults. The only one to ever say that they loved him. Him?! A selfish child who’s only interest was to be something he wasn’t. Why did he die for him? Why did he give up everything that he had, everything that Akechi wanted for him?

Why?

“I love you.”

“You’re more than your past.”

“I want…I want you to have the life that you’ve always wanted…”

“You’re so selfish, Akira.” Akechi wept, “We’re both so fucking selfish.”

Akechi gripped onto Akira’s body, embracing it with all his might. Any signs of life that the black haired youth might have had were completely gone, a cold and empty shell was all that was left.

Continuing to screech absurdities as the medics persisted in forcing him to leave, a set of stronger arms wrapped themselves around Akechi’s body, yanking him off the bed. Blind by his rage, all the faces in the room blurred together into a faceless mass.

“No!” He yelled, “No! Don’t! Don’t!”

His screams soon turned into sobbing. He reached a weak arm out as he was carried out of the room.

“Don’t take him away from me…”

The further he was pulled away, the lighter he felt. Like his state of being was being left in the other room. His entire mind went blank as the door shut in front of him, closing off the view of his previous lover. His tantrum ended, and his body went limp in the guards arm.

“Akira…” he mumbled.

Akira.

Akira.

Akira.

“Akira. Why do you trust me?”

“…Maybe because I know there’s more to you than what you show…also I might like you.”

“….I don’t understand you.”

“You don’t need to. Just know, I’m always on your side. If you want to believe that or not.”

“…You’re insane.”

“And you’re afraid. “

“How am I afraid?”

“You always feel the need to close people off, you never let anyone in.”

“….”

 

“Let me help you.”

 

“…….Ok.”

Akechi sat outside, the guards not too far down the hall in case he had another incident. Hours went by, Akechi stared at the ground the entirety of the time, his mind an empty vase of thought. A pair of feet walked in front of him and stopped to face him. He didn’t bother raising his head, already knowing what was going to be said. Still, the doctor explained the situation, as it was protocol.

Akira had passed on.

Akira had…killed himself, to ensure Akechi had a future and to save him the pain of making that decision—Of living with the uncertainty any longer.

Akechi continued to stare at the ground, not listening to what the doctor had to say, all he felt was a bubbling heat in his throat. His hands shook and his teeth clamped together, grinding against each other. He wanted nothing more than to tear each and every shadow apart, but more so…he wanted to kill the god that made this sick and twisted game of fate. He’d inflict all the pain he was feeling now onto that sick sadistic piece of shit. He’d make sure there wasn’t a scrap left of that benevolent body.

He would—

No.

Steadily, Akechi stood up, proceeding to walk down the hall. The doctor stepped in front of him once more, explaining that there were therapists he could talk to and professional help he could seek to deal with the trauma. The brunette merely shook his head in response. It was difficult, but a soft smile formed on his face.

If I keep smiling…he’ll never leave me.

If I just…keep smiling…

Smiling…

Smile.

He’d smile.

 

Smile on every single shadows deathbed.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!! I hope you liked it! Comments always welcome <3 Till next time!


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